A Story of Becoming, Part 1
I write this story for you, dear reader, to not only reflect on the incredible journey I have been on these past 7+ years… but to hopefully inspire you to move towards those things that light you up in this life.
It takes great courage and trust to follow your heart … especially when there are so many unknowns ahead.
I know now that I cannot do it any other way. Read on…
In 2015, I said “yes” to an opportunity that would alter the course of my life in profound ways. If I would have known how dramatically my life was about to change I would have stayed in my familiar and “safe” life.
It was a choice that I was finally ready to make after a few years of contemplation. I think it took me that much time to say “yes” because somehow deep down I knew it was going to set me on a brand new course.
A course that would birth a new version of me. A course that I would have to navigate mostly on my own.
It was an opportunity to study dance abroad with a teacher with whom I felt a profound connection, someone who modeled to me how I wanted to live and “be” in this world. A woman who held (and still holds) herself with grace, poise, humility and incredible devotion to her art.
On New Year’s Day 2016, I arrived in India for the first time to study Odissi Classical Dance for one month with Colleena Shakti at her Shakti School of Dance in Pushkar, Rajasthan.
I was 40 years old.
I had spent the last decade and a half studying and teaching West African drum and dance in Santa Barbara and Ventura, CA. I felt valued and appreciated and had co-created a thriving community of dancers and drummers with my former partner, Budhi Harlow.
I had been studying Odissi classical dance quietly for about five years, on and off, in California and Kauai. Odissi came to me suddenly and unexpectedly, as these things sometimes do in life.
Not knowing anything about India and especially the classical arts, I was a baby learning to walk again. I mostly flailed for those first five years but something inside of me was hungry for more and more.
Slowly and lovingly this dance and my beautiful new teacher nestled themselves deep inside my heart. I was smitten.
And finally I decided it was time… to devote an entire month of intensive study to this incredibly difficult classical art in the motherland of India. I traveled half-way across the world to an unknown place and into an opportunity that both frightened and excited me.
After several days of intense travel through Delhi, Jaipur and Ajmer, I entered through the dance temple doors in Pushkar to find my beautiful teacher smiling at me with outstretched arms.
“It’s like you have been here all along“ she said as tears streamed down my face.
And for the next month, tears would often stream down my face… In this new land, with new people, and new everything.
I was moved by my new dance sisters… coming from all over the world (Italy, South America, Mexico, Austria, Spain, Canada, France, England, and beyond).
I was moved by the local people of this community who were so warm and welcoming. I was moved by the swelling of love and familiarity in my heart in this place. I was moved by the passion and generosity of my teachers.
I was moved by the devotion and reverence of the Indian people towards their gods and goddesses. Every day I witnessed the locals honoring the sun and the cycles of the moon with beautiful rituals and pujas at sunrise and sunset.
I loved watching the cows meander through the streets and the monkeys jump from rooftop to rooftop. I loved the food and the spicy chai. I loved wearing colorful saris and kurtas and scarves. I loved the wild music of wedding marching bands blasting through the streets!
But all must come to an end at some point.
So on that dreaded final day as I was leaving Pushkar to make my way back to Delhi and then on to the US, the tears would just not stop.
I sobbed as I said “good bye” to this new place, my new friends, and this life which would become MY LIFE very soon.
I didn’t know.
I was so confused. I was heartbroken and madly in love. I was angry and excited at the same time. I felt as if I was being pulled from my mother’s loving arms and that I might not ever see her again. I felt like I was in agony!
And yet… little did I know…This was ONLY the beginning.
To be continued…
Ready to travel to India? Join me and Kathy Hayden for our Women’s Tour of India in 2023! Dates are November 1-22. We will visit Rajasthan, Rishikesh & Amritsar. Join us!